30. The Art of Passing Exams

Tazzy and I were sitting out in the open balcony and enjoying the evening sun. Tazzy was in his favourite shorts, a tee, and a black patka on his head that he tied in his famous black commando style. Just then a junior smart boy from IT knocked at the door. I had seen him in the college some times, but he was not a hosteller. Tazzy opened the door and soon pointed his hand at me,
"There in the balcony, is the master of exams, he knows how to pass even without studying, he'll tell you" said he and I saw myself telling this junior all my secret weapons of how to pass an exam,
"See on most occasions you will have little to write but many blank pages in front of you to fill; now that’s some real challenge" I was glad he was listening to me attentively,
"You will find yourself in a catch 22 situation; all you know is just a few lines of content and have to fill five big pages with it, that’s the kind of challenge you face in exams. Now to spread this little information you have in as many pages as possible is an art you see. It’s an Art" I said and he nodded.

"Say it is a theory question. First of all, you appreciate the question, even if it seems un-understandable in the beginning, just don't panic, appreciate it" the guy listened with such devotion that it inspired more passion about my art,
"You appreciate the question and figure out ‘what can I use from the question for my good’, try to pick the familiar words which strike you with some content in your fading memory, which inspire some definitions, let’s say you see this word 'defects' in the question just grab it, or say you see the word 'hardness' just grab it. These are the 'golden eggs'. Now, start with explaining the question itself, explain to the examiner what he has asked, tell him what you are assuming and then write elaborate definitions of the ‘golden eggs’ in as many words as possible. Maintain at least one inch gap between each word and the font size should be atleast fourteen, the lesser you know bigger the font, and, more the gap. You understand that?" I asked the boy. He was game and I now talked with even more passion.
"You see big font, big gaps; Right?"
"Right, I get it, big font big gaps, cool. I better write this down"
"Yeah I bet you do"
"Okay" said he as he sat down making notes of my advice.
"….and don’t ever forget the TENSES!"
"Tenses"
"Yeah, their use is crucial, very crucial"
"How?" the guy was very serious again.
"See whatever you know whatever, first write it in the present tense and after some lines of bullshit write the same thing again in the past tense and then after some lines of more bullshit write the damn thing again in the future tense, that’s real art boy, the real art! This will increase the content and fill pages, for example, ‘Harry loves Ansh’, then, ‘Harry loved Ansh’ and then ‘Harry will continue to love Ansh’. Right, Tenses?"
"Right, that's amazing! That’s so cool, Tenses!" cried the boy.
"But hey, don't overdo, remember don't overdo, okay"
"Okay"
"Remember, longer the answer more the marks and just add about anything that helps. Do backward integration, all the big words that crop up in your definition, go back to explain them and in doing so use some big words and then go back to define them. Linking you see, linking, alright?"
"Alright, linking I got that" the guy was excited. Good student I must say. He followed everything.
"And in the end UNDERLINE"
"Underline!"
"Yes about everything you feel is important, just underline. That means about ten lines on every page"
"Alright"
"Make that five and five, once at the top and once at the bottom, or maybe in the middle"
"Okay"

"And don't forget that 'HENCE' paragraph at the end. HENCE, this was the question, write it, and this is the answer, write it briefly, underline and that's it your master piece!" I beamed with joy.
"That's some art Sir. I am so thankful you taught me" said the boy in joy and then I guess he went a bit too far,
"Sir, Can you also teach me how to get a girlfriend?"
Now that was not my area of expertise, I pointed at Tazzy."Maybe he can" I said and let them be, while I marvelled at my own art description, chuckled and listened to their conversation.